"the portion sizes are SOOOO big"

Several years ago, my brother in law Arno made his first trip to San Francisco from his native South Africa. After a 49 hour trip consisting of little sleep, diarrhea inducing airline food, and stop overs at every major continent on the globe, we decided that the best way to show him we were excited to have him in our lovely city was to stop in immediately at two American institutions: In N Out Burger and Krispy Kreme. Poor Arno did not get to go back to the apartment, sleep, shower and have a wholesome meal. There would be none of that. No. Important things first. Animal style, please.
At our first stop, In N Out, Christiaan and I each ordered our "normal" meal: A burger served "animal style," ala extra onions, a milkshake and a french fry - for each of us. Upon arrival of the food, we both immediately tucked in, cramming fries and meat down our throats. Arno just sat there, in utter shock, looking at the platter of grub in front of him. We asked him if he was ok. He just shook his head, dumbfounded. He looked at me, then slowly at Christiaan, eyes running up and down our bodies. He then rested his glance on the All American meal laid out before him, and proclaimed: "The portion size is so big here." This indigment seemed to be not just for the meal itself, but an accusing guilt of the already eaten "portions" that Christiaan and I were carrying around our asses and guts.
This did not stop us, NO. We immediately proceeded from IN N OUT to da Kreme, where we procurred a dozen "hot" glazed donuts and a dozen assorted specialty pastries. Again, Arno was baffled by the sheer container size. To Christiaan and I, it was just another day of eatin' in the good ole red white and blue.
I am often shocked that people here, in my new adopted home of London, are NOT huge. The portion sizes are much much smaller- an actual "dinner plate" instead of a scooner of Cheesecake Factory sized servings. But the main foods here are beer and spuds. Why are they not huge?
I can tell you now- the British do not have the taste for culinary invention via deep frying that runs in the ancient blood lines of us Yanks. Not only have we deep fried a twinkie, oreos and Kool- Aid, as I recently blogged about. No, we go longer, wider, THERE IS NO PARTING US FROM THE FAT FRYER!
Today three items crossed my desk, which I had to again commend the US of Yay for inventing: First, the deep fried BUTTER BALLS:

Because we DO NOT STOP UNTIL WE GET ENOUGH, the culinary wizards of some state fair or another went further, faster, BIGGER this year. Yes, I present to you THE DEEP FRIED BUTTER STICK!

Lastly, I have been fascinated since my arrival here in the Big Smoke that the flavor of "bubble gum" seems to be omnipresent. Again, though, the US WILL NOT COME IN SECOND! Hence, the DEEP FRIED BUBBLE GUM BALL: